Chapter 20 (s03e01) Transcript 
[EMERGENCY TONE] [TV BUZZING] [VOICE OVER HEADPHONES SPEAKING MANDARIN] - - [MUFFLED CHEWING] [SLURPS LOUDLY] [DOOR CLOSES] [HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEK] TEACHER: When you examine the collision of the electrons and photons using relativistic kinematics [VOICE OVER HEADPHONES SPEAKING MANDARIN] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] [SCRIBBLING] [RADIO STATIC] [EMERGENCY TONE] LENNY [OVER RADIO]: Why is it blue? - It's always blue.
- [RADIO STATIC] LENNY: Are you looking for him, my lovelies? 'Cause he's looking for you.
Did you hear his message? No? If you have the skill, you can go back and listen again.
[EMERGENCY TONE] [FOOTSTEPS] - [RADIO STATIC] - [EMERGENCY TONE] LENNY [OVER RADIO]: Why is it blue? - It's always blue - [RADIO STATIC] VOICE [SLOWING]: follow the bus.
VOICE [WARPED, SLOW]: Follow the bus.
The yellow bus.
[EMERGENCY TONE] [RADIO STATIC] VOICE: Follow the bus.
The yellow bus.
[CARS HONKING] [PASSENGERS CHATTERING] Wait! [WOMEN LAUGHING] [BELLS JINGLE] Hello? [DISTANT CHATTER] [INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER] [SPEAKING JAPANESE] [CHATTER STOPS] Salmon.
Her name is Salmon.
[MUSIC PLAYING] I know you think I'm a psychopath A Democrat lurking in the dark This sucks, I'm the Kmart soda jerk Cirque du trash, I kept the stash Of cocoa candy straight from Japan Hologram Anne, she was never as near I think you know what I need to get by, by, by SUPERORGANISM: Something for your - Mind - Mind - SUPERORGANISM: Mind - Mind - Mind - Mind SUPERORGANISM: Something for your mind - Mind - SUPERORGANISM: Mind - Mind - Mind SUPERORGANISM: Something for your mind - Mind - SUPERORGANISM: Mind - Mind - SUPERORGANISM: Mind Mind SUPERORGANISM: Something for your - For your - [CRUNCHES] M-I, M-I M-I-N-D M-I, M-I M-I-N-D ORONO: I know you think I'm a sociopath My lovely prey, I'm a clichÃ© Make way, I'm in my Pepsi mood Mama needs food, how about a barbecue For us, the bourgeoisie So carefree Remember when we? I don't know what You need to get by - Something for your mind - Mind - Mind - Mind - ORONO: Mind - Mind - Something for your mind - Mind Mind - Mind - Mind - Something for your mind - Mind Mind - Mind - Something for your For your, for your For your M-I, M-I Far out.
You're just in time.
We've been waiting for you.
For me? For everyone.
But especially you.
Where is this place? I'm not sure.
My queen brought me here, she of the frosted breakfast flakes.
We're gonna have a baby.
What is that? Peace.
He makes it.
Sun turning 'round With graceful motion We're setting off With soft explosion Bound for a star With fiery oceans SALMON: He's the Dream-Come-True-Man.
His thoughts are magic.
light-years from home It's prayers mixed with dreams.
His spirit is the music and the word.
What did it mean, "Don't trust the mustache"? And who's the basket? And what are the forces of multiplication? Soon.
He'll tell you everything.
But you're not ready yet.
Your mind has to open like a flower.
You're 600 light-years from home [PIG GRUNTING] SALMON: It takes time.
Do you know that word? "Time"? [INHALES] [VOCALIZING SOFTLY] That's Squirrel.
He's the alchemist.
Like your vibe.
Very two days from now.
That's not it.
It's so very lonely We shall call you Switch.
And Switch shall be your name.
Bell flight 14, you now can land Seen you on Aldebaran Safe on the green desert sand It's so very lonely You're 2,000 Are you really a virgin? Penis-free, 25 years.
This is where you wait.
She'll be here soon.
She? "S" before "H.
" My beloved, the master of disaster.
[CLOCK TICKING] [DOOR CLOSES] [CLOCK TICKING] - Her majesty.
- The breakfast queen.
Sorry for the wait.
Was it awful? Not too bad.
[TAPS SCEPTER] [CLEARS THROAT] So sad runaway or spoiled daddy's girl? Is this a cult? Yes.
Are you the leader? I'm Lenny.
And you are? Switch.
Do you swing? I like boys.
[SCOFFS] Why? Okay.
[GROANS] Never mind.
[DRUMMING ON COUCH] What do you want, Switcheroo? A Band-Aid for your boo-boo? I'm not looking for you.
You're looking for me.
"Are you a time traveler? The forces of multiplication need you.
" Prove it.
Not to you.
[BIRDS CHIRPING] [STREAM FLOWING] [DOOR OPENS] Hi.
Come on in.
I'll make some tea.
What is this place? People have their pain.
Their hearts are sad.
Their minds are tired.
I help them.
How? I'm the magic man.
All I ask is that they stay and keep me company after.
Take care of the house.
Love each other.
I need that.
How is this here? This cave? I made it.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
And picture your bedroom.
Can you see it? Really see it? The walls, the windows? The way the light falls? Open your eyes.
It's a mental space.
You imagined it.
I made it real.
You read my mind? No secrets.
That's one of our rules.
What about trust? Mm.
I tried that, and it's better to read people's minds.
When I was a baby, a monster snuck into my head and haunted me for 33 years.
[MONSTER SNARLING] But I'm better now.
How are you? Good.
How are you? You know.
How are you? My dad collects robots.
There's a room in our apartment.
[FAINT WHIRRING] Some are life-sized.
Sometimes at night, I go in there.
[WHIRRING, TICKING] I stand very still, and pretend I'm a robot, too.
So what are "the forces of division"? Why do you need a time traveler? [GLASS THUDS] So it's a girl thing.
You want to go back in time and what? Get your girlfriend back? I thought about it.
Doing everything again, making different choices, but [CLICKS TONGUE] it won't work.
You know how sometimes you can be so sure what the problem is and then you realize the problem is really something else? No.
Well, you're young.
When I was in the psych ward, everybody was so sure the problem was neurological.
Brain chemistry, serotonin.
"David Haller, schizophrenic.
" You were in a psychiatric hospital? [CHUCKLES]: Oh.
Lots of times.
Psych hospitals, emergency rooms.
"David, don't swallow all your mother's diet pills.
" "David, don't huff the chemicals under the sink.
" Like I'm supposed to what? Pretend the voices aren't real? You know? - Yeah, sure.
- You see, like I said, when I was a baby, a monster came into my head and haunted me for, like, 33 years.
By "monster," you mean, like, a metaphor, right? Amahl Farouk.
The Shadow King.
My dad, my real dad, he kicked Farouk out of his body into the astral plane.
And then he found me Farouk and he moved in.
More tea? [SQUEAKS] [BIRDS CHIRPING] [SHOUTS] I still don't know why you need a time traveler.
To go back in time.
What else? - How far? - Well, how far can you go? [WHIRRING] [DAVID GRUNTS] [MUFFLED GASPING] - - [SOLDIERS SCREAMING] [GUNSHOT] [RACKS SHOTGUN, CASING CLATTERS] Stay down, kid.
[VOICE OVER HEADPHONES SPEAKING MANDARIN] - - [CLOCK TICKING] [CLOCK TICKING] [DOOR OPENS] - Her majesty - The breakfast queen.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER] Prove it.
Come on in.
I'll make some tea.
DAVID: Yes, it pays to be kind.
DAVID 2 [SCOTTISH ACCENT]: Are you out of your mind? "Is black tea okay?" What are you gonna do with this one? Give her a wee nib of the blue stuff and sling her in with all the others? Shall we sit out here? I'm excited to talk to you, hear what brought you to us.
We don't have time for that.
[SHOUTS] Lenny says you grew up in the city.
The forces of division.
They're almost here.
I've seen them.
They kill you.
I'd hear them.
You didn't last time.
What do you mean, "last time"? "Time traveler wanted.
" - You wrote that.
- [ECHOING SCREAM] "Find the pregnant virgin.
" Well, I did.
And we got to go [GUNFIRE] [LENNY LAUGHS MANIACALLY] Oh, David! [GRUNTS] Stick with me.
[GRUNTS] Come on.
David! [PIG SNORTING] This way! [PIG SNORTING] [GUNSHOT] [CASING CLATTERS] [SHOUTING] [PANTING] [CLOCK TICKING] [MUFFLED, DISTANT LAUGHTER] [CLOCK CONTINUES TICKING] [HUMMING FADES] FAROUK: You're cheating.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] A time traveler.
I had relations with a time traveler once.
Is it true that you are always women? Pourquoi? Maybe it has something to do with regret.
Choices made and not made.
I'm not supposed to be here.
Wherever this is.
This is the astral plane.
A world beyond the world.
Made of pure energy.
Very few can see it.
David, for example.
Oh, you know him.
He used to be easy to find.
His power was so loud and no control.
But now [BIRDS SINGING] Is this a mental space? - [LIQUID POURING] - Did you make this? I was looking for David and saw you.
See? The realms of time and space collide here in the plane.
Now the first time I see you, I think, "Interesting.
" But the second time You're helping him, no? I don't know what you're talking about.
We, too, want to help him.
He's a very sick young man.
Then why did she shoot him? The blonde? You have seen this? So we find him and you go back to change what happens.
- I have to go.
- To warn him.
What does he have that you need? Maybe we can make a different arrangement.
Why are you helping him? [SPEAKING MANDARIN] [EXHALES] [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Ah [EXHALES] [INHALES DEEPLY] [EXHALES SLOWLY] MAINFRAME [OVER PA]: Time to symbiosis T-minus 45.
- I'm hungry.
- Not now.
That's right, I forgot you're making a person.
It's not a person.
It's a fully synthetic bipedal quantum computer.
Yeah, but it looks a lot like somebody we know.
VERMILLION 1: Initiating cranial fusion.
MAINFRAME: Time to symbiosis - [EXHALES] - T-minus 30.
[WHIRRING] Why does he have a mustache? I don't know, I MAINFRAME: Time to symbiosis, T-minus 15.
Beginning data transfer.
MAINFRAME: Sentience in ten - [WHIRS] - nine eight seven - six - Wonder if he'll still be grouchy.
- five four three - two - [KERRY SIGHS] - One.
- KERRY: Whoa.
It's, it's, it's all right.
MAINFRAME: Symbiosis complete.
The mainframe is now ambulatory.
How do you feel? Running diagnostics.
Faulty HVAC unit in the Oslo facility.
Data slowdown in the Minsk network.
There are currently nine faulty satellites - in the atmospheric array.
- I meant you.
How do you feel? You, the entity known as Ptonomy? There is no Ptonomy, there is only the mainframe.
Why do I have a mustache? Oh, they have mustaches, I just thought Routing all command functions to this vessel.
Can we eat now? In a moment.
I have to test his reflexes.
Oh Not sure how much more money we can throw at this.
You know, there are other threats.
He destroys the world.
I said that, right? DANIEL: It's not me.
I've got bosses and they've got bosses.
CLARK: Well, I thought I was your boss.
DANIEL: Only at home.
He has a time traveler.
I met her in the astral plane.
Uh, what do you mean, he has a time traveler? She's young, a teenager.
She has skill.
CLARK: [STAMMERS] She's with David? How do you know? We spoke.
So you had her and then you let her go? Like I said, she has skill.
You see, the astral plane exists at the crux of time and space.
It's, uh, how do you say, um a rest stop.
I was able to intercept her, but only for a moment.
So where is he? Our boy shields his mind from me.
And how does she help him? This time traveler? To answer, I must ask how do you surprise someone who can go back in time and warn himself? Why don't we have a time traveler? [DIAL-UP SCREECH] FEMALE AUTOMATED VOICE: David Haller location detected.
That's industrial, low density.
I say we scramble the jet and we drop a bomb.
No, no, it should be a team.
We've got to make sure.
You've trained for this.
And the time traveler? Remember: whatever we do she can undo.
Then we kill her, too.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] FAROUK: We have him.
I'll get ready.
How big is the team? You don't have to go.
Why not stay back? Let us take care of things.
He's not my first boyfriend.
He's not even the first boy to take advantage.
There's a job to do.
Revenge is not a job.
It's not that.
All that love, it doesn't just disappear.
It must be transformed into an emotion of equal intensity.
That is the law of the universe.
Pretty sure you're making that up.
[CHUCKLES] My dear, I am over 2,000 years old.
I don't make things up.
I have wisdom.
And my wisdom says you remain here and we will kill him.
I have to be there.
This should block your brain waves.
I've built similar tech into our fighting friends' helmets.
This way, David won't hear us coming.
The David Haller phenomenon is contained within normal space and time.
Outward signs indicate he is unaware of our approach.
Probability of success? 67%.
Air support? At the weigh station, ready to move in.
I see him.
Get the hook.
Get ready to move.
Send in air support.
We go in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five - [SHOUTS] - four [STATIC] MAINFRAME: Ground connection lost.
Ground connection [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] What's up? Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' Into the future Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' Into the future The future, the future I want to fly like an eagle To the sea Fly like an eagle Let my spirit carry me I want to fly like an eagle Till I'm free Oh, Lord Through the revolution - Feed the babies - Feed the babies Who don't have enough to eat - Shoe the children - Shoe the children With no shoes on their feet - House the people - House the people Livin' in the street Said, oh, look There's a solution I want to fly like an eagle To the sea Fly like an eagle Let my spirit carry me - I want to fly like an eagle - Fly Till I'm free Fly through the revolution.